See how my nose is crinkled when I smile? I have always hated that. I as a tortured teenage soul, I would spend long moments in front of a mirror, attempting to smile without the crinkle. I can do it now...sometimes. My nose has always stuck out (bad pun intended) as a source of vain irritation for me.
I remember conversations with well meaning loved ones who espoused the merits of my Berling family beak. Some of them even share it. (Disclaimer: let the record show that my beef has been with the smeller on my face. Yours looks perfectly proportional upon yours. Irrational, but true. )
Every girl has things they wish were different about themselves, and their bodies. We seem to be wired to compare ourselves to others we see. I spent a few minutes on Pinterest the other day and was struck my how many of the comments sounded like a hollow echo chamber of "if only"
"If only, I were that skinny..." "Wish, I had the thighs to pull that off..." "Wish I could have her hair..." "Look at those nails!" "I would wear those if only I had her ankles."
We are not always concerned with what's in the mirror. But it does come up quite often. Cate Blanchett made all kinds of news for putting her "real face" on the cover of Intelligent Life magazine. This implies that not using computer editing to alter an image to make it more appealing happens so rarely it constitutes actual newsworthiness. In America, public schools offer photo editing for school pictures. Do little Sally's freckles really need to be erased from her kindergarten mug? Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of my pictures, (most notably from the totally awkward teen years) I may have loved to have had the luxury changing. But what are we saying if we think every image needs to be edited to me complete? In this age of readily available photo shop and airbrushing, the temptation (especially for women) to compare ourselves to an unattainable standard looms ever present. Computer generated "perfection" has slithered its way into our everyday reality and lied to us. We've bought the lie and so often now strive to look like an allusion.
Even if we take computers and Photoshop out of the equation, there are other slithering snakes that will bring the temptation of "if only" and all that comes with it back into play. Make-up. Diets. Hair dye. Did you know that the women who invented Spanx is the world's youngest self made billionare?
I am not saying we should all crawl out of bed and never give a second thought to what others will see. I realize that there is a fun side to sparkles, and make-up and things that make us feel pretty. Enjoy that. Play around with the photo editing, too. Just realize you were beautiful before any of that, and you will be gorgeous long after it's all gone.
Reading my friend Becca's Photography stuff the other day I was struck by something she said: "Beauty is found in the genuine." So simple. So true. (Plus she takes great pics!) True beauty cannot be created by any combination of allusions or mirrors. True beauty is a refection of the Creator wherever and whenever it's found. The Father of lights leaves little bits of amazing everywhere we look.. .There is genuine beauty in the grace of His creativity resting in us.
I don't want my girls thinking they have to strive to be something different to feel beautiful. I don't want them tethered to illusions. I don't want them toiling at the Sysiphus-like chore of trying meet unrealistic expectations. I do not want them buying the lie. I want them to know they are beautiful just the way they are, because of the One in whom all beauty originates.
I caught them both laughing so hard they were rolling on the floor tonight. Mia had nothing but a diaper on, Cowboy Macaroni was crusted on the corner of her mouth. Abi had four colors of paint in her hair and four (yes four) different socks on. Their noses crinkled a little when they looked up at me. And I sighed, because it was, in a word: BEAUTIFUL.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16
Psalm 139: 14-15
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